Liberal soccer moms are precisely as likely to receive anthrax in the mail as to develop a capacity for linear thinking.

They spent the night in jail, where their progressive views on gay marriage served them well.

Government workers think the job of everyone else in the economy is to protect their high salaries, crazy work rules and obscene pensions. They self-righteously lecture us about public service, the children, a 'living wage' all in the service of squeezing more money from the taxpayer to fund their breathtakingly selfish job arrangements.

The media will spend weeks going through pay stubs for Bush's National Guard service in Alabama in the waning days of war, but if Kerry tells them exotic tales of covert missions into Cambodia directed by Richard Nixon, they don't even bother to fact-check who was president in December 1968.

Everything that liberals want they call a civil right. This avoids them having to argue about it and puts the halo around the issue.

I'm a problem-solver, and you're welcome.

Fundamentalist Muslim terrorists kill three thousand Americans, but America isn't supposed to respond, because if we respond, they'll respond. We always hear about 'karmic retributions' and the 'cycle of violence' only after we've been hit.