Liberal soccer moms are precisely as likely to receive anthrax in the mail as to develop a capacity for linear thinking.

Weirdly enough, the best thing that ever happened to black people in the last twenty or thirty years was the O.J. Simpson verdict because it shut down the white guilt bank. And white guilt has never led to anything good. It's brought us spiraling crime rates, mostly with black victims, and a permanent underclass living in public housing projects. For years, liberals cried that "law and order" and "welfare reform" were racist code words.

Strom Thurmond the only segregationist anyone can name. Meanwhile, the Democratic Party had former Klansmen, members of a terrorist group that was lynching and murdering black people. That was an outgrowth of the Democratic Party.

In the druidical religion of liberalism, not separating your recyclables is a sin, but abortion is just a medical procedure.

CBS is planning a tribute to Dan Rather... the memo went out a month ago but everyone assumed it was a fake.

If Hitler hadn't turned against their beloved Stalin, liberals would have stuck by him, too.

The only important lesson from the Vietnam War is this: Democrats lose wars.