Liberals never, ever drop a heinous idea; they just change the name. Abortion becomes choice, communist becomes progressive, communist dictatorship becomes people's democratic republic and Nikita Khrushchev becomes Barack Obama.

If any other religious cult knew so few basic facts about its own seminal beliefs as the liberal cult does about Joe McCarthy, Janet Reno would gas them.

Although God believers don't need evolution to be false, atheists need evolution to be true.

As the leader of twelve apostles, even Jesus had more executive experience than Obama.

Liberals have managed to eliminate the idea of manly honor. Instead, all they have is womanly indignation.

Scott Brown's victory in Massachusetts has got to have Ted Kennedy rolling over in his grave, spilling his drink.

The Afghan "negotiation phase" immediately precedes the traditional Afghan "surrender phase." This entails the following: The defeated party surrenders and then comes out shooting. This is repeated several times. Finally, the vanquished party runs out of ammunition and is forced to surrender ' but seriously this time ' at which point the victors kill the foreigners and hug their fellow Afghans like long-lost brothers.