Nobody has ever respected me and done things for me and loved me. So when Howard (former husband J. Howard Marshall II) came along, it was a blessing. He is the only person in my life who does not care about what other people say about me. He truly loves me and I love him for it.

I don't have a boyfriend right now. I'm looking for anyone with a job that I don't have to support.

I have been alone since my husband died. I stay in my home. I don't date. It's hard to date when you're at home. Nobody knows you.

I finally feel like I'm becoming somebody. I really think like I can do something. I just know I'm going to be an actress. I want it so bad.

He's comming to meet me on Sun. Cant wait!!... Please God let him love me!!... This could be it [followed by five happy faces].... Hes going to publish my pictures Im so glad I didn't sleep with him either!... I hate for men to want sex all the time. I hate sex anyway. (1992, diary entry as she prepares for a meeting with Paul Marciano, head of Guess.)

It's very expensive to be me. It's terrible the things I have to do to be me.

I want to be the new Marilyn Monroe and find my own Clark Gable.