I'm certainly dismayed by what I'm seeing now. There's a lot of ugliness of a kind I've never seen in my lifetime, or heard in my lifetime. But, look, I'm a romantic. I'm hopeful.

I managed to reach a depth of self-loathing that usually takes a night of drinking to achieve.

And now to sleep, to dream...perchance to fart.

Naturally, I'm misanthropic. But the Negronis are helping considerably.

I didn't want food that looked unapproachable or ridiculously beautiful.

Thinking of getting into the leg-breaking business, so I can profitably sell crutches later.

Avoid at all costs that vile spew you see rotting in oil in screwtop jars. Too lazy to peel fresh? You don't deserve to eat garlic.