I couldn't get away with Halloween pranks 'cause my parents owned the health food store. So, it was so easy to bust me. I was the only kid on the block egging houses with those big 'ole brown eggs. Like, you didn't have to be a detective to figure it out. 'Oh, I wonder who Tofuttied my mailbox. Is it the same evil genius who filled my bird bath with Rice Dream?

My friend and I were up to all sorts of shenanigans at school. But one time it ended up disrupting the whole class and we got in trouble. His parents told him he wasn't allowed to hang out with me any more. I had a friendship break-up in third grade. It was brutal.

I fainted last night! Luckily I was going to bed at the time so I didn't get hurt.

Home is wherever I am. People make too big a deal about where you live. I try to be grounded in myself. Home is another way of saying 'a place where you keep all your stuff'.

I'm thinking of switching banks, and my friend said, 'Well, what's wrong with Citibank?' Well, they can't spell 'city.' I hope their math is better than their English is.

The other day I saw a guy with a sign that said, WHERE WILL YOU SPEND ETERNITY? Which freaked me out because I was on my way to the Department of Motor Vehicles.

There are so many types of shoes. There's so many categories, and I really have no idea what type of shoe I need at any given time. And I go in there - I find it a little bit overwhelming. 'Welcome to the shoe store! What are you looking for? Are you looking for walking shoes?' Well, uh, I'd like to have that option. Hopefully, they're adjustable. I mean, I'd like to be able to turn them up to other settings, as well.