Don't tell your friends about your indigestion. "How are you" is a greeting, not a question.

Of all cold words of tongue or pen, the worst are these: "I knew him when -

No true reform has ever come to pass Unchallenged by a liar and an ass.

Amoebas at the start Were not complex; They tore themselves apart And started Sex.

The stones that critics hurl with harsh intent, a man may use to build his monument.

I hope the Vandals had thorns in their sandals

The Cat on your hearthstone to this day presages, By solemnly sneezing, the coming of rain!