There's no harm in talking to yourself, but try to avoid telling yourself jokes you've heard before.

To the Tax Office: All is over between us. Please don't attempt to communicate with me again.

My cat knows the meaning of life, but has no interest in sharing the secret.

Why aren't you more grateful when I prove how wrong you've been?

Women can do anything men can do, but often have more sense than even to be interested.

All I want is a warm bed and a kind word and unlimited power.

I hope I can settle my internal conflicts without bloodshed.