Decisions are beautiful. They are the evidence of thought and care. Decisions are the polishing cloths of life.

What police officer would dare ticket Death's minivan?

In some ways, blogging is like drinking - it gives a person permission to be a total asshole.

Thanksgiving was nothing more than a pilgrim-created obstacle in the way of Christmas; a dead bird in the street that forced a brief detour.

Like cubic zirconia, I only look real. I'm an imposter. The fact is, I am not like other people.

There is no such thing as too ordinary to write about, whether that's life or a scene in a novel. What's interesting to people, whether it's memoir or fiction, is the truth.

Perfection is the satin-lined casket of creativity and originality. If you are a perfectionist, at least stop telling everybody you're one and try to get over it yourself, alone in your home with the lights off