I understood at once, I am not living, but actively dying. I am smoking, living unhealthily. Iโm shutting down. I need to go the other way, inside. And it was so clear to me what I was doing. It was suddenly perfectly clear. I understood, I need to write. Live here, in my words, and my head. I need to go inside, thatโs all. No big, complicated, difficult thing. I just need to go in reverse. And not worry about what to write about, but just write. Or, if Iโm going to worry about what to write, then do this worrying on paper, so at least Iโm writing and will have a record of the anxiety.
Augusten BurroughsI just look at her and she creeps me out. She looks like she would eat a baby. Not that she's fat. She just looks hungry in some dangerous way that can't be explained. She's always so nice and friendly. Exactly the disposition of a baby killer.
Augusten BurroughsMy instinct was always have your gun in your hand. Especially when you are telling somebody to do something. But, in fact, the police academy discourages this. They feel your gun should rarely, if ever, be brought out of its holster. Most certainly not when children are involved, which is exactly when I saw myself using my gun most often. A truant teenager loitering outside a movie theater is going to be far more motivated to return to school when he has the barrel of a .45 pressed against his cheek.
Augusten BurroughsIn the same way that a tornado rips the roof off a double-wide trailer, leaving the occupants dazed and staring at the clouds from the splinters of what used to be their living room, it was over.
Augusten BurroughsThe more obsessed one is with getting thin, the more certain it becomes that one will never get there.
Augusten BurroughsThink of the actual physical elements that compose our bodies: we are 98 percent hydrogen and oxygen and carbon. That's table sugar. You are made of the same stuff as table sugar. Just a couple of tiny differences here and there and look what happened to the sugar: it can stand upright and send tweets.
Augusten Burroughs