Most everybody had made at least one bad, drunken decision in their lives. Called an ex at two in the morning. Or perhaps has a little too much to drink on a second date and wept inconsolably while revealing how simply damaged one was, while nonetheless retaining an uncommonly large capacity for love. That kind of thing was, while regrettable, at least comprehensible. But waking up with someone generationally inappropriate, like your grandfather's best buddy?
Augusten BurroughsIf you hate your life, you haven't' seen enough of it. If you hate your life, it's because your life is too small and doesn't' fit you.
Augusten BurroughsWe were young. We were bored. And the old electroshock therapy machine was just under the stairs in a box next to the Hoover.
Augusten BurroughsMarriage is overdone. As long as there are people, people are going to find it interesting.
Augusten Burroughs