The problem with not having anybody to tell you what to do, I understood, is that there was nobody to tell you what not to do.

But my favorite band is Curbside Life, out of Chicago.

It turned out I had always been a smoker. I just hadn't had any cigarettes.

I just look at her and she creeps me out. She looks like she would eat a baby. Not that she's fat. She just looks hungry in some dangerous way that can't be explained. She's always so nice and friendly. Exactly the disposition of a baby killer.

My mistake was in underestimating the emotional force of a song you have already hear a thousand times.

The most mortifying fact of my life is something that happened when I was fourteen and I have never admitted to anyone: not to friends nor therapists; not even in rehab when we were detailing our own personal spirals of shame did I confess. It is this: I am a graduate of the Barbizon School of Modeling.

Fact: upon locking yourself our of your apartment you will immediately need to use the bathroom. Fact: and then you will stand in place and watch your door. You will just stare. As though rebuffed by it. As though it has done this to you.