The problem with not having anybody to tell you what to do, I understood, is that there was nobody to tell you what not to do.

I hate news and information and anything that threatens to puncture the bubble of oblivion in which I live.

If you believe suicide will bring you peace, or at the very least just an end to everything you hate- you are displaying self-caring behavior. You are still able to actively seek solutions to your problems. You are willing to go to great lengths to provide what you believe will be soothing to yourself. This strikes me as optimistic.

Nothing made sense to me anymore. I knew I was young, I knew I was small. But I was worried that I might already be ruined.

The thing for someone just starting off [in writing] is to write. You need to have limber fingers, whether you write with your fingers or you type on your laptop, but you need to have a limber mind and you need to be able to write without judging what you've written, at least right away, and without editing right away.

I'm always prepared for the worst.

Writing has enriched my life in ways I never imaged.