No matter what, I want to continue living with the awareness that I will die. Without that, I am not alive.

What was important wasn't the fireworks, it was that we were together this evening, together in this place, looking up into the sky at the same time.

Was that what it means to be an adult, to live with ugly ambiguities?

I spent most of my time thinking, because I didn't have enough energy to do anything else.

I held the feeling in my heart; the urge to discuss it died out. There was all the time in the world. In the endless repetition of other nights, other mornings, this moment, too, might become a dream.

No one can survive childhood without being wounded. Everyone remembers at least one time when their parents rejected them, pushed them away, even though they may have still been in the womb, blind, and unable to speak. That's why, as adults, we all look for someone to become our parents again, and for someone to look after us in times of need. And we search for a person to live with who can provide the companionship we so desperately want.

I saw the sky and sea and sand and the flickering flames of the bonfire through my tears. All at once, it rushed into my head with tremendous speed, and made me feel dizzy. It was beautiful. Everything that happened was shockingly beautiful, enough to make you crazy.