I felt how important the simplest things were, like feeling proud, finding something funny, stretching yourself, retreating into yourself.
Banana YoshimotoLove is the kind of thing that's already happening by the time you notice it, that's how it works, and no matter how old you get, that doesn't change. Except that you can break it up into two entirely distinct types -- love where there's an end in sight and love where there isn't.
Banana YoshimotoSometimes people put up walls, not to keep others out, but to see who cares enough to break them down.
Banana YoshimotoOnce you've recognized your own limits, you've raised yourself to a higher level of being, since you're closer to the real you.
Banana YoshimotoThe way we think may be completely different, but you and I are an ancient, archetypal couple, the original man and woman. We are the model for Adam and Eve. For all couples in love, there comes a moment when a man gazes at a woman with the very same kind of realization. It is an infinite helix, the dance of two souls resonating, like the twist of DNA, like the vast universe.
Banana YoshimotoShe was still there inside me now, just as she always was: a life put on hold, a memory I didn't know how to handle.
Banana YoshimotoWith a cold"--she spoke evenly, lowering her eyes a little--"now is the hardest time. Maybe even harder than dying. But this is probably as bad as it can get. You might come to fear the next time you get a cold; it will be as bad as this, but if you just hold steady, it won't be. For the rest of your life. That's how it works. You could take the negative view and live in fear: Will it happen again? But it won't hurt so much if you just accept it as a part of life." With that she looked up at me, smiling.
Banana YoshimotoOf course, itโs true that sometimes the pink at sunrise somehow seems brighter than the pink at sunset, and that when youโre feeling down the the landscape seems darker too - you see things through the filter of your own sensibility. But the things themselves, out there, they donโt change. They existed, and thatโs all there is to it.
Banana YoshimotoChilled-looking people walking along the riverside, the snow beginning, faintly, to pile up on the roofs of cars, the bare trees shaking their heads left and right, dry leaves tossing in the wind. The silver of the metal window sash sparkling coldly. Soon after, I heard sensei call, "Mikage! Are you awake? It's snowing, look! It's snowing!" "I'm coming!" I called out, standing up. I got dressed to begin another day. Over and over, we begin again.
Banana YoshimotoNo matter what, I want to continue living with the awareness that I will die. Without that, I am not alive.
Banana YoshimotoEveryone lives the way she knows best. What I mean by 'their happiness' is living a life untouched as much as possible by the knowledge that we are really, all of us, alone. That's not a bad thing.
Banana YoshimotoThere are many, many difficult times, god knows. If a person wants to stand on her own two feet, I recommend undertaking the care and feeding of something. It could be children, or it could be house plants, you know? By doing that you come to understand your own limitations. That's where it starts.
Banana YoshimotoHer eyes were those of someone who's just fallen in love, someone who sees nothing but her lover, someone who has no fear of anything. The eyes of someone who believes that every dream will come true, that reality will move if you just give it a push.
Banana YoshimotoI spent most of my time thinking, because I didn't have enough energy to do anything else.
Banana YoshimotoThis is what it means to be loved... when someone wants to touch you, to be tender.
Banana YoshimotoWe ran into lots of old friends. Friends from elementary school, junior high school, high school. Everyone had matured in their own way, and even as we stood face to face with them they seemed like people from dreams, sudden glimpses through the fences of our tangled memories. We smiled and waved, exchanged a few words, and then walked on in our separate directions.
Banana YoshimotoI wonder what it felt to move to a country where you didn't grow up. I had thought about that often since my sister got married. Do you become a character in a story native to that land, or do you, somewhere in your heart, want to return to your homeland.
Banana YoshimotoNo one can survive childhood without being wounded. Everyone remembers at least one time when their parents rejected them, pushed them away, even though they may have still been in the womb, blind, and unable to speak. That's why, as adults, we all look for someone to become our parents again, and for someone to look after us in times of need. And we search for a person to live with who can provide the companionship we so desperately want.
Banana YoshimotoIn places where a loved one has died, time stops for eternity. If I stand on the very spot, one says to oneself, like a prayer, might I feel the pain he felt? They say that on a visit to an old castle or whatever, the history of the place, the presence of people who walked there many years ago, can be felt in the body. Before, when I heard things like that, I would think, what are they talking about? But i felt I understood it now.
Banana YoshimotoTruly happy memories always live on, shining. Over time, one by one, they come back to life.
Banana YoshimotoWhy is it we have so little choice? We live like the lowliest worms. Always defeated - defeated we make dinner, we eat, we sleep. Everyone we love is dying. Sill, to cease living is unacceptable.
Banana YoshimotoOn nights like this when the air is so clear, you end up saying things you ordinarily wouldnโt. Without even noticing what youโre doing, you open up your heart and just start talking to the person next to youโyou talk as if you have no audience but the glittering stars, far overhead.
Banana YoshimotoTime expands and contracts. When it expands, itโs like pitch: it folds people in its arms and holds them forever in its embrace. It doesnโt let us go so easily. Sometimes you go back again to the place youโve just come from, stop and close your eyes, and realize that not a second has passed, and time just leaves you there, stranded, in the darkness
Banana YoshimotoIn the uncertain ebb and flow of time and emotions, much of oneโs life history is etched in the senses. And things of no particular importance, or irreplaceable things, can suddenly resurface in a cafรฉ one winter night.
Banana YoshimotoThere are many days when all the awful things that happen make you sick at heart, when the path before you is so steep you canโt bear to look. Not even love can rescue a person from that. Still, enveloped in the twilight coming from the west, there she was, watering the plants with her slender, graceful hands, in the midst of a light so sweet it seemed to form a rainbow in the transparent water she poured.
Banana YoshimotoIn the uncertain ebb and flow of time and emotions much of one's life history is etched in the senses.
Banana YoshimotoI had been walking in silence for so long,I had almost forgotten what my own voice sounded like.My knees were tired;my toes were beginning to ache.
Banana YoshimotoI was happy. I loved the night, I loved t so much it almost hurt. In the night everything seemed possible. I wasn't sleepy at all.
Banana YoshimotoThat's the advantage of insomnia. People who go to be early always complain that the night is too short, but for those of us who stay up all night, it can feel as long as a lifetime. You get a lot done
Banana YoshimotoMe, when I'm utterly exhausted by it all, when my skin breaks out, on those lonely evenings when I call my friends again and again and nobody's home, then I despise my own life - my birth, my upbringing, everything.
Banana YoshimotoItโs a marvelous thing, the ocean. For some reason when two people sit together looking out at it, they stop caring whether they talk or stay silent. You never get tired of watching it. And no matter how rough the waves get, youโre never bothered by the noise the water makes by the commotion of the surface - it never seems too loud, or too wild.
Banana YoshimotoYou know, Chihiro, darling- all it takes is one little wrong step and you end up feeling frustrated your whole life, like me.
Banana YoshimotoHere in this ocean, in the midst of all this water, with the red flags on those distant buoys flapping in the sea breeze, I find myself unable to treat our house in Tokyo as anything but a dream.
Banana YoshimotoYou have the nicest window, you know? None of the others can even compete. Itยดs not flashy like the others, or bleary โ your window gives of this nice, quiet light.
Banana YoshimotoIt didn't matter whether he was nearby or far away. His image would drift up into your mind just when you least expected it, shocking you, making your chest pound. Making your heart ache.
Banana YoshimotoSo, have you been enjoying yourself these days, Kazami?' I'm having lots of fun.' It was true. That made the sense of regret even keener, that this time in my life would soon be a thing of the past. I felt as if I could understand a little of what my mother had been through, and the feelings she may have had at different times. I wasn't a child anymore, and this made me feel awfully lonesome, and utterly alone.
Banana Yoshimotoit'll be this kind of deep blueโshe said. โThe kind of color that somehow sucks your eyes and your ears and all your words โthe color of a completely closed-in night
Banana YoshimotoFrom the bottom of my heart, I wanted to give up; I wanted to give up on living. There was no denying that tomorrow would come, and the day after tomorrow, and so next week, too. I never thought it would be this hard, but I would go on living in the midst of a glomy depression, and that made me feel sick to the depths of my soul. In spite of the tempest raging within me, I walked the night path calmly.
Banana YoshimotoFor ten years I had been protected, wrapped up in something like a blanket that had been stitched together from all kinds of different things. But people never notice that warmth until after they've emerged. You don't even notice that you've been inside until it's too late for you ever to go back-- that's how perfect the temperature of that blanket is.
Banana Yoshimoto