A stick or a stone only stings for a minute. A name seems to hurt forever.

Sometimes I think he’s the kind of friend that grownups call a ‘fair-weather friend.’ That means when everything’s going smoothly, he’s the best friend a guy could want. But as soon as something goes wrong…(he) sort of turns on you.

Junie B. Jones. The B stands for Beatrice. Except, I don't like Beatrice. I just like B and that's all.

I don't even like clowns. Clowns are not normal people.

There are those who believe that the value of a children's book can be measured only in terms of the moral lessons it tries to impose or the perfect role models it offers. Personally, I happen to think that a book is of extraordinary value if it gives the reader nothing more than a smile or two. In fact, I happen to think that's huge.

My senior year of high school, I was voted Wittiest. So, several years later, I decided to try my hand at writing humor to see if I could be witty enough to make some money.

Society just has a way of inhibiting you, which is good and bad.