They have accepted me as an individual, as a personality, as an entity. I belong! I am important! I am somebody!

I really am only one infinitely small part of an aching humanity.

They don’t think “I care,” “I hurt,” or “I have feelings.” It just seems like I’m always “wrong,” always “selfish,” always “self-centered” and everything else that’s negative and destructive.

Alone. The saddest word in the world.

I'm afraid to live and afraid to die.

My biggest mistake: not wanting to help myself into thinking I am happy, that change would come about without really trying to change, or wanting to change. Procrastinating about changing. I do want to change.

I can't believe that I changed so little. I expected to look old and hollow and gray, but I guess it's only me on the inside that has shriveled and deteriorated.