I wouldn't intentionally hurt anyone in this whole world. I wouldn't hurt them physically or emotionally, how then can people so consistently do it to me? Even my parents treat me like I'm stupid and inferior and ever short. I guess I'll never measure up to anyone's expectations. I surely don't measure up to what I'd like to be.

I’m really cracking. No, I’m beyond cracking. I’m shattered. I’m lost. I’m fragmented.

How can thoughts hurt so much when they aren't even physical?

How is it possible for me to be so miserable and embarrassed and humiliated and beaten an function still talk and smile and concentrate?

The voice of every kid hooked on drugs, alcohol or the occult joins the sad chorus "Not me! I didn't think it could ever happen to me. I was sure I could handle it.

They have accepted me as an individual, as a personality, as an entity. I belong! I am important! I am somebody!

My biggest mistake: not wanting to help myself into thinking I am happy, that change would come about without really trying to change, or wanting to change. Procrastinating about changing. I do want to change.