one day I'll be old, without ever having really been young

one day I'll be old, without ever having really been young

I'm partly somebody else trying to fit in and say the right things and do the right thing and be in the right place and wear what everybody else is wearing. Sometimes I think we're all trying to be shadows of each other, trying to buy the same records and everything even if we don't like them. Kids are like robots, off an assembly line, and I don't want to be a robot!

I guess I'll never measure up to anyone's expectations. I surely don't measure up to what I'd like to be.

They don’t think “I care,” “I hurt,” or “I have feelings.” It just seems like I’m always “wrong,” always “selfish,” always “self-centered” and everything else that’s negative and destructive.

I'm afraid to live and afraid to die.

How is it possible for me to be so miserable and embarrassed and humiliated and beaten an function still talk and smile and concentrate?