Despite my mum being from a small village in the middle of a forest, I'm not a country person. I don't like my bacon sandwich to be curiously snuffling at my fingers. But sometimes being police means holding your breath and fondling a pig.

Are they really gods?" "I never worry about theological questions," said Nightingale. "They exist, they have power and they can breach the Queen's peace - that makes them a police matter.

On the plus side, there were no rioters in sight but on the minus side this was probably because everywhere I looked was on fire.

The motto of West African cooking is that if the food doesn't set fire to the tablecloth the cook is being stingy with the pepper.

Coffee arrived and the espresso was excellent, like an aromatic electric fence.

What do you think you're doing?

That which does not kill us has to get up extra early in the morning if it wants to get us next time.