Somebody doesn't know they're not in Kansas anymore,' said Stephanopoulos.

Being a seasoned Londoner, Martin gave the body the "London once-over" - a quick glance to determine whether this was a drunk, a crazy or a human being in distress. The fact that it was entirely possible for someone to be all three simultaneously is why good-Samaritanism in London is considered an extreme sport - like BASE jumping or crocodile wrestling.

What's the biggest thing you've zapped with a fireball?' I asked. 'That would be a tiger,'said Nightingale. 'Well don't tell Greenpeace,' I said. 'They're an endagered species.' 'Not that sort of tiger,' said Nightingale. 'A Panzer-kampfwagen sechs Ausf E.' I stared at him. 'You knocked out a Tiger tank with a fireball?' 'Actually I knocked out two,' said Nightingale. 'I have to admit that the first one took three shots, one to disable the tracks, one through the driver's eye slot and one down the commander's hatch - brewed up rather nicely.

It's a police mantra that all members of the public are guilty of something, but some members of the public are more guilty than others.

The study of the victim is called victimology because everything sounds better with and ology tacked on the end.

On the plus side, there were no rioters in sight but on the minus side this was probably because everywhere I looked was on fire.

That which does not kill us has to get up extra early in the morning if it wants to get us next time.