The clever people at CERN are smashing particles together in the hope that Doctor Who will turn up and tell them to stop

If you ask any police officer what the worst part of the job is, they will always say breaking bad news to relatives, but this is not the truth. The worst part is staying in the room after you've broken the news, so that you're forced to be there when someone's life disintegrates around them. Some people say it doesn't bother them - such people are not to be trusted.

...good-Samaritanism in London is considered an extreme sport - like base-jumping or crocodile-wrestling.

...don't ask me why I know what an Edwardian smoking jacket looks like: let's just say it has something to do with Doctor Who and leave it at that.

Somebody doesn't know they're not in Kansas anymore,' said Stephanopoulos.

Landscaping is the great cardinal sin of modern architecture. It's not your garden, it's not a park - it's a formless patch of grass, shrubbery and the occasional tree that exists purely to stop the original developer's plans from looking like a howling concrete wilderness.

It's a police mantra that all members of the public are guilty of something, but some members of the public are more guilty than others.