As you walk down the fairway of life you must smell the roses, for you only get to play one round.

Relax? How can anybody relax and play golf? You have to grip the club, don't you?

Golf is not a game of good shots. It's a game of bad shots.

Jesus Christ can't hit a golf ball straight. It's virtually impossible - at best it's an accident.

You only hit a straight ball by accident. The ball is going to move right or left every time you hit it, so you had better make it go one way or the other.

I have found the game to be, in all factualness, a universal language wherever I traveled at home or abroad.

I dreamed one night that I had 17 holes-in-one and one two, and when I woke up I was so goddam mad.