Politicians are like ships: noisiest when lost in a fog.

Banquet: a plate of cold, hairy chicken and artificially coloured green peas completely surrounded by dreary speeches and appeals for donations.

Politicians are like ships: noisiest when lost in a fog.

Good manners: The noise you don't make when you're eating soup.

One of the troubles of the day, observes Mr. C.N. Peac, is that once we came upon the little red schoolhouse, whereas now we come upon the little-read school boy.

Most of the things that are supposed to be so objectionable in books are things that every teenager, in the United States, not only knows, but has talked about at length in school, or on the way home from school.

Censor: A self-appointed snoophound who sticks his nose in other people's business.