Banquet: a plate of cold, hairy chicken and artificially coloured green peas completely surrounded by dreary speeches and appeals for donations.

One of the troubles of the day, observes Mr. C.N. Peac, is that once we came upon the little red schoolhouse, whereas now we come upon the little-read school boy.

Good manners: The noise you don't make when you're eating soup.

Oratory is the art of making a loud noise sound like a deep thought.

One of the greatest threats facing book publishing, and the entire country for that matter, is censorship.

Everybody was being decent, and when people are decent, thing work out for everybody. That has been my theory all through life. If you're making money, let the other fellow make it too. If somebody's getting hurt, it's bad, but if you can work a thing out so that everybody profits that's the ideal business.

For me, a hearty "belly laugh" is one of the beautiful sounds in the world.