Middle age is when your old classmates are so grey and wrinkled and bald they don't recognize you.

An oboe is an ill-wind that nobody blows good.

The fundamental difference between the mystery story and the ghost story is the fact that a mystery demands a solution for its effectiveness; a ghost story is necessarily unsolvable; the reader must be willing to accept the fact that nothing is proved.

One of the greatest threats facing book publishing, and the entire country for that matter, is censorship.

Oratory is the art of making a loud noise sound like a deep thought.

Banquet: a plate of cold, hairy chicken and artificially coloured green peas completely surrounded by dreary speeches and appeals for donations.

Good manners: The noise you don't make when you're eating soup.