I grew up in Los Angeles and always wished I'd spent a childhood in a far different place.

I could draw Bloom County with my nose and pay my cleaning lady to write it, and I'd bet I wouldn't lose 10% of my papers over the next twenty years. Such is the nature of comic-strips. Once established, their half-life is usually more than nuclear waste.

I happen to think nearly everybody - especially those one might find in the odd issue of 'People' magazine, including me - is frightfully boring, especially me. And Tom Cruise. Tom and I are alike in only this way.

The universe throws us some obvious little pitches sometimes, and we need to be awake enough not to let them slip by.

I hate smoothies. Because they won't offer Firestone IPA beer as an ingredient.

I will go to my grave in a state of abject endless fascination that we all have the capacity to become emotionally involved with a personality that doesn't exist.

It's not terribly dignified to have anyone seeing one laugh at one's own material.