He comic page is dying; I didn't want to go with it.

Dear Lord, I've been asked, nay commanded, to thank Thee for the Christmas turkey before us... a turkey which was no doubt a lively, intelligent bird... a social being... capable of actual affection... nuzzling its young with almost human- like compassion. Anyway, it's dead and we're gonna eat it. Please give our respects to its family.

I'd be a Libertarian, if they weren't all a bunch of tax-dodging professional whiners.

I was never asked to join the Editorial Cartoonists Of America. No fraternity would have me in college, either. I think they know something.

Keep in mind that in 1985, I had a potential readership of over 50 million Americans. At that time, a good portion of those were under 30.

And just as it is with all proper grannies, she ordered me into my pink bunny jammies.

I will go to my grave in a state of abject endless fascination that we all have the capacity to become emotionally involved with a personality that doesn't exist.