If I can tell someone a story that makes them bend over and laugh, that's bigger than anything else.

I don't care about how I look; I'm dedicated to the laughs. You know, I used to be a clown, so - my name was Smoothie the Clown. All the training I had, all my training is geared toward making people laugh, and I didn't care about being cool.

I was good at keeping my mother from crying.

I became the storyteller of South Side Chicago. I used an old Kiwi liquid shoe polish as a microphone. I'd go around the house interviewing everybody, telling stupid jokes, doing voices. I mimicked Sidney Poitier, Sammy Davis Jr., people on 'Laugh-In,' Flip Wilson.

I want to play a villain - I can't wait to play a villain.

I always wanted to scuba dive. I used to scuba dive undercover like black Aquaman.

Bernie Mac don't sugarcoat.