I wouldn't piss on Joan Crawford if she were on fire.

I think men have got to change an awful lot. They still prefer the little woman.

I may not have been wearing a mink coat, but I was traveling with a dog. That should have made you think I was an actress!

You should never say bad things about the dead, you should only say good . . . Joan Crawford is dead. Good.

I work to stay alive.

I firmly believe, however, that if your children have never hated you, you have failed as a parent.

I have eyes like a bullfrog, a neck like an ostrich and long, limp hair. You just have to be good to survive with that equipment.