Fasten your seat belts, it's going to be a bumpy night! - As Margo Channing in All About Eve

The real female should be partly male and the real male should be partly female anyway.

I've lost my faith in science.

It's better to be hated for who you are, than to be loved for someone you're not. It's a sign of your worth sometimes, if you're hated by the right people.

Among the reasons marriages fail, sex ranks no higher than fourth, behind money, having only one bathroom, and an inability to communicate, reasons one, two and three.

There may be a heaven, but if Joan Crawford is there, I'm not going.

One begins to realize that one is getting old when the birthday candles weigh more than the cake.