One begins to realize that one is getting old when the birthday candles weigh more than the cake.

If everybody likes you, you're pretty dull.

I was thought to be 'stuck up.' I wasn't. I was just sure of myself. This is and always has been an unforgivable quality to the unsure.

If everybody likes you, you are not a very interesting person.

Don't you hate people who drink white wine? I mean, my dear, every alcoholic in town is getting falling-down drunk on white wine. They think they aren't drunks because they only drink wine. Never, never trust anyone who asks for white wine. It means they're phonies.

The act of sex, gratifying as it may be, is God's joke on humanity. It is man's last desperate stand at superintendency.

It has been my experience that one cannot, in any shape or form, depend on human relations for lasting reward. It is only work that truly satisfies.