You should never say bad things about the dead, you should only say good . . . Joan Crawford is dead. Good.

If men found out how to give birth to children they'll never propose again.

You will never be happier than you expect. To change your happiness, change your expectation.

If you want a thing done well, get a couple of old broads to do it.

I wouldn't piss on Joan Crawford if she were on fire.

She did it the hard way.

I wanted to be the first to win three Oscars, but Miss Hepburn has done it. Actually it hasn't been done. Miss Hepburn only won half an Oscar. If they'd given me half an Oscar I would have thrown it back in their faces. You see, I'm an Aries. I never lose.