If somebody makes me laugh, I’m his slave for life.

I celebrate everyone's religious holidays. if it's good enough for the righteous, it's good enough for the self-righteous, I always say.

Sometimes you have to make your own opportunities, and that's why I'm on TV. I wasn't going to sit around anymore, waiting for the damn phone to ring. I had to create my own place - I've always done that.

Just because people don't meet you doesn't mean they're not out there breaking their asses trying to get around.

I was brought up on rock-'n'-roll. It was sort of funny because I couldn't get interested in anything else - I tried and tried but I couldn't get into science...or mathematics, I just cut myself off from anything else there was to get interested in.

Romance is an illusion. Well, romance is not a complete illusion, but it's ephemeral. It does not last.

There are bugs and there are the pigeons and other predators, but you shouldn't be afraid of them, because this is how nature works.