I married a German. Every night I dress up as Poland and he invades me.

When I finally did stop and look at my life, I realized that I had done what I'd set out to do. In my pitiful little way, I had climbed the mountain I had chosen. And there I was, on top.

America is so caught up in this celebrity mania!

If someone were to say seriously, "I'm divine," she'd have to be locked up. There are lots of people in mental institutions going around saying "I'm God." But because I'm funny about it, they haven't locked me up yet. And I don't give myself airs, either.

I always try to balance the light with the heavy - a few tears of human spirit in with the sequins and the fringes.

Writing a book is not as tough as it is to haul thirty-five people around the country and sweat like a horse five nights a week.

If somebody makes me laugh, I’m his slave for life.