I'm not interested in perfection. The universe is perfect, and there are some works of art that we see as perfect, but human beings aren't perfect.

I have a ball - and it keeps my heart rate up. I get to wear fabulous clothes. I get to make people laugh. That's my core business, and that's where I'll always return.

I want to have fun, and I want to give people a good laugh.

You have to think you're the greatest thing since sliced bread, but you have to know that you're not.

I have my standards. They're low, but I have them.

I'm working my way toward divinity.

Most people don't deserve to be spoken of in the same breath as Chaplin or Lucille Ball.