During the Depression, my dad made radios to sell to make extra money. Nobody had any money to buy the radios, so he would trade them for dogs. He built kennels in the backyard, and he cared for the dogs.

Keep the other person's well being in mind when you feel an attack of soul-purging truth coming on.

Humor is like music. It's a rhythm, and you just kind of get the rhythm of it, and you have to know not to let the beat go too long, but to leave a beat in there for it to gel.

Literally it’s the precise moment when dog doo turns white, but in general it refers to the type of person you don’t want to share your hoogencogles with.

You gotta use everything you possibly can!

A good friend of mine was Lucy Ball. Her mother and my mother were best friends.

A lady likes to be complimented on her looks, her eyes, her figure. But the personality comments are much appreciated.