Betty White Quotes

Humor is like a rhythm; it's like music. And you throw a couple of extra syllables in, you wreck the beat and you kill the laugh. So I try to follow the writers very carefully because I know how carefully they worked to do it that way.

I really don't care with whom you sleep. I just care what kind of a decent human being you are.

Sex is pretty funny, let's face it. And the more seriously we take ourselves, the funnier sex gets, I think.

I'm in the middle of my sixth book, which is about animals at the Los Angeles Zoo.

I can't get over that at this age I don't feel this age. I'm not trying to be any younger. I'm not lying about my age. If I were lying about my age, I would say I was 89. I'm just at one of those good times in one's life. I'm at one of the high spots. I'm healthy enough to enjoy it. I'm surrounded by friends I adore. Isn't that kind of the best way to sign off?

Humor is like music. It's a rhythm, and you just kind of get the rhythm of it, and you have to know not to let the beat go too long, but to leave a beat in there for it to gel.

Keep the other person's well being in mind when you feel an attack of soul-purging truth coming on.

Retirement is not in my vocabulary.

We laugh a lot. That's for sure. Sure beats the alternative, doesn't it?

I didn't know I was a gay icon. I get a lot of mail - but I don't get many bad letters - but I got a woman the other day that was so upset with me because they said, 'How do you feel about the gay marriage thing?' and my answer to that is, 'I really don't care with whom you sleep, I just care what kind of a decent human being you are.' I figure all the rest of it is your business and not mine. And not hers, incidentally.

Animals don't lie. Animals don't criticize. If animals have moody days, they handle them better than humans do.

You don't luck into integrity. You work at it.

As the years went on, the audience has become very jaded. They've heard every joke, they've seen every story line, they know where you're going before you even start to get there. And that's a hard audience to keep interested.

I don't know where I learned elephants like their tongues slapped. Whatever turns you on.

Of course, nobody's tearing my door down. If you're successful you're going to intimidate and scare off the people you'd like to spend time with. They're not going to approach you. And the ones who do are often there because you are a celebrity.

I always tape my Christmas show in advance. That way I can spend the season of joy and goodwill with my only sister in Florida. She’s kinda a creep but she’s got a pool.

I'm a teenager trapped in an old body.

I think it's your mental attitude. So many of us start dreading age in high school and that's a waste of a lovely life. 'Oh... I'm 30, oh, I'm 40, oh, 50.' Make the most of it.

I've always liked older men. They're just more attractive to me. Of course, at my age there aren't that many left!

My mother always used to say: 'The older you get, the better you get, unless you're a banana.'

Vodka is kind of a hobby.

I love straight-face comedy or relatively subtle comedy. And then I turn around and I find myself doing very broad comedy but it's all fun and you have to keep your sense of humor and not take yourself seriously.

The writers are the stars of every really successful sitcom.

I'm just happy as a lark having a good health. People say are you thinking about retiring, I don't have time to think about retiring.

I happen to be blessed with loving what I do for a living. I love acting and I'm so fortunate to be able to work in this business. And I get these marvelous letters about how encouraging it is to see someone making the most of their time and still enjoying it.

It's been phenomenal, but everybody keeps congratulating me on my resurgence and my big comeback. I haven't been away, guys. I've been working steadily for the last 63 years.

I enjoy being busy, I really do. Remember, I'm the stub end of the railroad. I have no family, so I'm not taking busy time away from people that I should be spending it with. So I'm just relaxing and enjoying it.

The audience today has heard every joke. They know every plot. They know where you're going before you even start. That's a tough audience to surprise, and a tough audience to write for. It's much more competitive now, because the audience is so much more - I want to say sophisticated.

My mother and dad were big animal lovers, too. I just don't know how I would have lived without animals around me. I'm fascinated by them - both domestic pets and the wild community. They just are the most interesting things in the world to me, and it's made such a difference in my lifetime.

You're never too old for anything!

When I'm around animals, I don't pay attention to people.

I had to make a major decision with myself because I just don't think you can do both: try to have a baby career and raise it and have a baby baby and raise it. And to try to do justice to either one. It was a very conscious decision on my part not to have children - which I have never regretted.

I think a lot of people like hidden-camera shows where they think they're spying on somebody who doesn't know they're looking at them. And nobody takes it seriously - you either enjoy it and get a laugh out of the reactions or not.

One thing they don't tell you about growing old - you don't feel old, you just feel like yourself. And it's true. I don't feel eighty-nine years old. I simply am eighty-nine years old.

Kindness and consideration of somebody besides yourself. I think that keeps you feeling young. I really do.

When I started in television, it was brand new. It was the miracle over in the corner of your room. Now the audience has seen every story line. People have heard every joke. They can predict the plot almost before a show starts. That's a hard, sophisticated audience to reach.

If you get into a Broadway show and it doesn't work, you're a failure. And if it does work, you may be stuck for who knows how long. It just doesn't sound great to me!

I stayed in show business to pay for my animal business.

I have a two-story house and a bad memory, so I'm up and down those stairs all the time. That's my exercise.

I like double entendre because then the people who get it enjoy it, and the people who don't get it don't know about it.

Now that I'm 91, as opposed to being 90, I'm much wiser. I'm much more aware and I'm much sexier.

I love words. Sudoku I don't get into, I'm not into numbers that much, and there are people who are hooked on that. But crossword puzzles, I just can't - if I get a puppy and I paper train him and I put the - if all of a sudden I'd open the paper and there's a crossword puzzle - 'No, no, you can't go on that, honey. I'll take it.'

I'm blessed with good health for which I'm deeply grateful, so for that reason, I feel so good. Everybody else is far more excited about the 90 than I am.

I've always had a bawdy sense of humor. My father was a traveling salesman and he would bring jokes home. He would say, "Honey, you can take this one to school, but you can't take that one to school."

If the guy's a cutie, you've gotta tap that booty.

Being blessed with good health gives you the strength and loving what you do and - is a privilege that keeps you going. So I'm just happy as a lark.

I don't know how people get so anti-something. Just mind your own business, take care of your own affairs, and don't worry about other people so much.

Avoid tweeting any photos of your private parts.