My first rule of travel is never to go to a place that sounds like a medical condition and Critz is clearly an incurable disease involving flaking skin.

And I find chopsticks frankly distressing. Am I alone in thinking it odd that a people ingenious enough to invent paper, gunpowder, kites and any number of other useful objects, and who have a noble history extending back 3,000 years haven't yet worked out that a pair of knitting needles is no way to capture food?

I have long known that it is part of God's plan for me to spend a little time with each of the most stupid people on earth.

In a funny way, nothing makes you feel more like a native of your own country than to live where nearly everyone is not.

Human beings would split the atom and invent television, nylon, and instant coffee before they could figure out the age of their own planet.

I was heading to Nebraska. Now there's a sentence you don't want to say too often if you can possibly help it.

On the dashboard of our family car is a shallow indentation about the size of a paperback book. If you are looking for somewhere to put your sunglasses or spare change, it is the obvious place, and it works extremely well, I must say, so long as the car is not actually moving. However, as soon as you put the car in motion ... everything slides off ... It can hold nothing that has not been nailed to it. So I ask you: what then is it for?