I'm not funny in person. I mean I'm really not. I'm one of those people who always screw up anecdotes.

Romans park their cars the way I would park if I had just spilled a beaker of hydrochloric acid on my lap.

If you drive to, say, Shenandoah National Park, or the Great Smoky Mountains, you'll get some appreciation for the scale and beauty of the outdoors. When you walk into it, then you see it in a completely different way. You discover it in a much slower, more majestic sort of way.

In the countryside, litter doesn't have a friend. It doesn't have anybody who's saying, 'Wait a minute, this is really starting to get out of control.'

Four times I was honked at for having the temerity to proceed through town without the benefit of metal.

"Croissant": However you choose to pronounce it at home, it is perhaps worth nothing that outside the United States, the closer you can come to saying "kwass-ohn," the sooner you can expect to be presented with one.

Cheapness is a great virtue.