Business runs hot and cold so the more you're in charge of your own destiny, the better off you are.

Only an adult with dying dreams can appreciate how awesome it is to have a dog.

And Donald Trump? That man literally has people shouting the n word at his rallies and he doesn't address it, which is astounding to me. He's a terrible person.

Don't be a jerk to other comics and don't let the business beat you down, stay positive and if you work your ass off you're going to get somewhere.

I don't think people know what hygienist means.

[Nazi] copied stuff from us for their "final solution" but we get to walk around like we're the good guys.

Ric Flair is the greatest guy ever. He just wants to hang out, have a beer, and tell stories. He's the coolest. I've never met The Rock though.