Once you do a joke and it works it's only good for so long, like shooting fish in a barrel.

Once you do a joke and it works it's only good for so long, like shooting fish in a barrel.

There is no reason to hit a woman. And I was just like, really? I could give you, like, 17 right off the top of my head.

Stand up comedy is this thing you get to do, so you have to treat it with respect. You can't just be like, 'Alright, I got my hour down, people are coming to see me now. Now, I'm going to lean on the mike stand.' No, you gotta work even harder now. You got to top what you already did. Because they'll find someone else.

I cannot believe that [Donald Trump] is actually in the debates.

Everyone should just drive out to the Mojave Desert and just experience it, and it's a fun place to live.

D.C.'s always had a great scene.