It's a great time to be a comedian because you've got so much more control. You can say what you want to. I think in the old days with the studio system the performer was a bit of an afterthought. You can be a wildcard on the internet. But if you put something on the internet once it's out there it's out there for life.

I think it's a privilege to be able to fly to somewhere where people want to see my show.

I used to think you had to live this miserable life and that that would make you funnier, but you don't. The misery will come. The misery will find you.

I love doing radio, and I love doing stand-up, obviously.

Ric Flair is the greatest guy ever. He just wants to hang out, have a beer, and tell stories. He's the coolest. I've never met The Rock though.

I cannot believe that [Donald Trump] is actually in the debates.

I was certified to take x-rays, but you can't just show up and start cleaning people's teeth.