My favorite part of podcasting is running my mouth for an hour. The only time I dont like it is when Im off. Then that hour feels like a day and a half.

I was certified to take x-rays, but you can't just show up and start cleaning people's teeth.

What would you rather be? 52 and look 52, or 52 and look like a 28-year-old lizard?

I used to think you had to live this miserable life and that that would make you funnier, but you don't. The misery will come. The misery will find you.

You have no idea how long a year is until you’re stone sober.

I am so pro-swine flu it's - it's like ridiculous.

My favorite part of podcasting is running my mouth for an hour. The only time I dont like it is when Im off. Then that hour feels like a day and a half.