I believe that the way to a man's heart is not through his stomach. It's a little further south.

I believe that the way to a man's heart is not through his stomach. It's a little further south.

You can't climb a tile wall.

One day I locked my keys in my car and as I was standing there with a hanger halfway through the top of my window, a guy walks up and says, Lock yer keys in the car? Without missin' a beat I said, Nope, Just washed it and was hanging it up to dry. Here's your sign.

You can't tell somebody to kiss your ass on a scooter!

I shot me a nice deer, and I hung it on the den wall in my house. My neighbor comes over and he says, Did you shoot that thing? I said, Nope. He ran through the wall and got stuck. Here's your sign.

I believe that anyone who wants to wear a thong should have to go through an application process.