The Republicans proved they are not the party of 'no.' They're the party of 'f**k, no!'

Rational people, anti-religionists, must end their timidity and come out of the closet and assert themselves. And those who consider themselves only moderately religious really need to look in the mirror and realize that the solace and comfort that religion brings you actually comes at a terrible price.

This country hates professors. It likes Toby Keith - 'I'm gonna put a boot in their ass.' If you don't do that, somehow you can't be strong.

Rick Santorum said this week that his 12-year-old could out-reason me about God. Look, I am not about to debate a home-schooled 12-year-old. I have enough trouble with Sarah Palin.

Good presidents, people like George Bush, they SEND people to war. They don't bring them a rescue. This is America. We rescue insurance companies and banks.

The reason I love my dog so much is because when I come home, he's the only one in the world who treats me like I'm the Beatles.

Newt Gingrich was campaigning at a zoo this week and he was bitten by a penguin. Newt Gingrich is always campaigning at zoos. Mitt Romney once did a photo op at a zoo. That was a big mistake, because he stood next to the chameleon, and HE changed colors.