More astronauts have been to the moon than farmers who paid the inheritance tax in 2013.

I have two questions about Arnold Schwarzenegger. What does he know, and when will he know it?

During the Depression, or back when we were fighting Hitler, people didn't have time to sue a company if the coffee was too hot. There were urgent, pressing problems. If you think you have it tough, read history books.

I would rather put up with Rush Limbaugh and live in a country where we all do have freedom of speech.

I think capital punishment works great. Every killer you kill never kills again.

Don't wear bacon cologne. If you put on...you know what? Screw it. Wear it. If you are the type of guy who is tempted to wear bacon cologne, it's not like you could get laid any less.

Denying racism is the new racism.