New Rule: Food companies must face the facts: One container equals one serving. Look, weโre Americans, and that means once we open the bag, thereโs no stopping us until weโre licking stray bits of powdered cheese off the carpet. So stop trying to give us nutritional information based on a fraction of the package. It assumes a talent for two things that weโre really not capable of: restraint and math.
Bill MaherDonald Rumsfeld also lost his gig last week. When asked what his future plans are, Rumsfeld said, 'What's a plan?'
Bill MaherPeople have romantic notions about television. In the highest realms they think it's some sort of art medium, and it's not. Others think it's an entertainment medium, it's not that either. It's an advertising medium. It's a method to deliver advertising like a cigarette is a method to deliver nicotine.
Bill MaherIf you ignore every single thing Jesus told you to do, you are just auditing. You're not a Christian.
Bill MaherThe only sport I really get into is snowboarding. Cause that's the only sport where they perform a half pipe just after smoking a full pipe.
Bill Maher