They're talking about banning cigarette smoking now in any place that's used by ten or more people in a week, which, I guess, means that Madonna can't even smoke in bed.

Sam Harris made that great analogy. He said, 'If someone was talking into their hair dryer and claiming that they were speaking to God, they would call Bellevue. But, take away the hair dryer, it's just praying.'

I have always defined political correctness as an elevation of sensitivity over truth.

Americans are used to being pandered to and spoon-fed everything. In a culture that needs caffeine-free cherry chocolate diet Coke, you'd best deliver information with entertainment.

I would describe my spirituality as exactly the opposite of having a religious affiliation.

I always say to my religious friends, if a pool had even one turd in it, would you jump in?

I think the funniest stuff comes from the heaviest stuff.