I am so tired of rearranging my life around what the stupidest people might do.

When sex is good theres nothing better, when its bad its not bad.

My policy is I am always more than happy to say, "I'm sorry if I hurt your feelings." What I am not willing to do is take back what I said. Unless I am wrong.

Between trying to impeach Bill Clinton, Florida 2000, and the recall in California, I'm beginning to think that Republicans will do anything to win an election-except get the most votes.

It's all been satirized for your protection.

Clint Eastwood's speech was kind of a metaphor for the entire Republican Party: A confused old person yelling at something that doesn't exist.

They told us to buy duct tape and portable radios so that if the world does end, we can all listen to Rush Limbaugh blame it on Clinton.