A flu shot is the worst thing you can do.

Republicans have pounced. They're outraged. They say, 'How dare you lie about caring for the people who got hurt in the war we lied them into?'

Remember, guns don't kill people - unless you practice real hard.

I am so tired of rearranging my life around what the stupidest people might do.

There is good news. Scientists sent a probe down there in the Gulf of Mexico today and they found traces of seawater.

It's very hard not to be condescending when you're explaining something to an idiot.

Also, in the category of 'obvious but still shocking,' an animal called a 'killer whale' killed someone who was trying to play with it. Now, no one knows exactly what enraged the whale, but earlier in the week, it had been thrown off a flight by Southwest Airlines.