I kid the Republicans, with love. I feel bad for them. They got nobody for next time. Who are they gonna run? Sarah Palin, reading off her hand. Did you see that? You saw this? She wrote "tax cuts" on her hand. A Republican so stupid she has to be reminded of the one thing - Tax cuts! This is like if you saw the coyote's paw and it said "Road Runner".

I do miss George Bush. Compared to these teabaggers and the people who are pandering to them, he looks like a professor.

Clinton left the White House with all the class of an XFL halftime show.

If it makes you feel any better we will be happy to attack a country that had nothing to do with it.

Today Obama was seen leaving the White House in a nurse's uniform on a flight to Cuba to smother Castro with a pillow.

It could be anything. It could be Jesus and it could be the Furby and it could be the lint that lives in my navel, but it's probably not. Whatever it is, I doubt we as humans on Earth could have any perception of it while we're here. So, why give yourself a headache thinking about it. Just be a good person. That's what an ethicist is.

I understand we're on our way to being a Third World country. Could we just stop at 'Second World' before we get there?